


be more chill oneshots

by HelloHumanBeings



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: !!!, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lost Memories, M/M, Michael is pining, Pre-Relationship, Tattoos, also michael is shorter i always forgot to mention that, christine and michael put on drag shows together, christine has to get binders for this reason, hes still a dick but hes not as much of a dick, hey look theres some jeremy/christine in there woah, i luv this kids, intentionally, its Cannon Heights in the first chap, its kinda angsty, kinda amnesia but not, may become a oneshots book??? dont hold me to anything, michael is spotty in this chapter he's he(e)re when he needs tob e, michael just tears up, not really - Freeform, save him, so its a oneshots book now, so michaels taller in the first chap, squip redemption arc, the squip roasts jeremys mom, they get their matching pac man tattoos together!!!, this is like, trans!jeremy, well kinda, whoops theres a reference of when jeremy is """raped""", whoops theres one where michael and jeremy arent explicitly together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-15 11:24:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11229936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloHumanBeings/pseuds/HelloHumanBeings
Summary: just a bunch of boys (and girls) bein in love





	1. tattoos and scars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pinktoria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinktoria/gifts).



> um, forewarning of self harm mentions if that triggers you  
> it starts at: Wrists, Michael hated thinking about his wrists.  
> and ends at: After all, he didn't know how.

Michael always thought that Jeremy was joking when he brought up getting matching tattoos. After all, the smaller male had an extremely low pain tolerance. 

But there they were, both sitting awkwardly in the waiting room of the local tattoo shop, waiting to get matching Pac Man tattoos on their wrists. Wrists, Michael hated thinking about his wrists. The little white marks trailing up them, starting around his elbows. He left those marks, it was hard to forget doing it. The small razor in his hand, or the eraser burns that he caused with the end of his pencil during class, they were all things he had caused and that he wasn't planning on stopping.

After all, he didn't know how. So he pushed the thought aside in his head and leaned back in his chair. His headphones were playing softly, a random Bob Marley playlist he had put together. Jeremy, next to him, looked nervous but excited. He glanced over at Michael, grinned, and looked back to his phone that he had been messing with in his lap. Michael watched him a moment more, the way the light hit his features, the way his mouth curled up in a smile every so often or down into a frown the next, the way he was humming along with Michael's music, God it was just too much. Still, the smaller messed around a while more before glancing up and gently nudging Michael. The taller glanced over in surprise, turning down his music.

"Yeah, bud? What is it?" He asked, now fumbling with his phone but not in the same way Jeremy had been. The smaller frowned at his wrists before looking up and meeting Michael's eyes. Michael's heart flipped in his chest.

"If we do this, you have to promise me one thing, okay?" He asked, hesitant but strong. There was determination behind his words. The taller raised his eyebrows, prompting Jeremy to go on. "You, um, you can't cut or burn or hurt yourself on purpose ever again, okay?"

Michael's hands paused. His breathing paused. His heart paused, just for a moment, but then he felt a little smile crawl on his face.

"God, Jeremy, you really make a hard bargain." Michael joked, only getting a serious look from Jeremy in return. 

"Do you promise?" He asked, eyes narrowing. The other made himself look away, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep that promise. But if Jeremy didn't know he broke it, did he really? After a pause from his half, he held out his hand.

"I promise." He confirmed, and Jeremy took his hand, shaking it. And with those final words, the two boys were called back and the promise was made.


	2. aching glances and knotted stomachs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> michael hadnt been in the bathroom as long as he had thought, he had been saved by a very tall angel with curly hair and worried eyes. they jumped through the window and the squip came back and the squip was gone and it was okay again. then things werent so okay. the play. the squip. michaels world was crumbling but jeremy was okay so it was time to put up a fake smile and deal with it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa  
> okok so um im doing a rp with @pinktoria and um its where jeremy heard michael yelling in the bathroom at the halloween party so they um ditched the party and went off to be gay but the squips an ass and michael doesnt have as much mountain dew red as he hoped so it comes back and problems continue but they're still really gay  
> and i had the thought of "what if the squip can alter or temporarily delete memories" so thats a thing now  
> an au in which the remains of their relationship crumbles under michaels feet and theres nothing he can do to stop it  
> also any flaws are because i havent actually read the entirety of the script oops

Michael let out a shaky breath as he slipped his phone off the nightstand. It was nearly dead, he had no idea how it managed to keep it's charge for a whole week (though he didn't have social media so I suppose that could be an answer). Five percent, no messages. He groaned, flopping back on his bed after hastily connecting the little box to the charger. He gently pulled the puppy (Jeremy's idea, the house was lonely with the parents always gone) by his side onto his chest and stared into her blue eyes. Maria, he had decided to name her, was quite the small thing. A baby Husky, snow white until she got a paw out the door. He gently rubbed her head, glancing over at his phone again. It wasn't like his boyfriend to just not respond. Unless his phone was dead, which was possible. But he needed to know play times so he could leave the house early enough to get a good seat. He tried to turn his attention away from the lack of response, knowing he could just go downstairs and take a pill if it got too bad. Then again, taking them would remind Michael of Jeremy and he really didn't want to take that risk. So he sat up, gently taking Maria with him, gently carried the dog to her kennel, locked her inside, and hurried to his car, leaving his phone behind.

-

Jeremy looked at the locker in front of him with uncertain eyes. It was Rich's, he could tell by the "GET WELL SOON" banner slung along the front. The Squip was on his phone behind him, doing what Jeremy didn't dare ask in fear of a new scar adorning his back. He glanced back at the Squip, eyes questioning. "Um, how do I open it?" He asked, turning quickly to the combination, of which the Squip read off in the sultry tones of Keanu Reeves. God, he was never going and seeing another John Wick movie again in his life. He slowly put the combination in to see boxes stacked high with... lady's running shoes? Oh, right. Squips. He pulled the boxes out, still heeding the Keanu Reeves impersonator's every word. He knew what the computer could do. He'd seen the weapons he materialized, just as glitchy and bright blue as him. He'd felt the shocks, white hot against his skin where they left scars that were barely hidden under the god damn Eminem shirt he was forced to wear. Maybe he should get the Squip a shirt of his own reading "I killed Eminem". It would fit.

-

Michael stopped at his parking space, thankful to see he wasn't the only person there already for the play. What if it had started without him? He hurried inside, payed the fee, and took a seat, finding that there were still plenty of open seats. Maybe things were still okay.

-

Jeremy knew for a fact that things were not okay, but they started The Play like things were. He dumped the Squips, all of them, when Mr. Reyes wasn't looking, then went back to final touches. Scene one ended and Chloe was already acting funny. Like she was... oh no... Like she was Squipped. He knew what was going to happen. The fucking windows eighty seven was going to ruin his chances with Christine by Squipping the entire school.

Oh, did I forget to mention? He didn't love Michael anymore. His memories of the bathroom and of the many hours they spent laying around and kissing and such were just... gone.

Anyway, Jeremy hated this but watched as one by one people fell victim to the grey pills. But then, like a light in the darkness (quite literally, the backstage was really dark and him coming in brought in quite a bit of light), Michael was running backstage with a bottle of Mountain Dew Red on hand and Jeremy was confused but it was at least a little okay. Michael's eyes glazed with worry once he saw Jeremy, but he could also see something close to angry relief in his eyes. But they fixed everything, and it was okay again.

-

At least for a while.

-

Christine. Jeremy couldn't help it, he was so terribly in love with her he barely noticed the confused, hurt glances from Michael every time he saw the two of them together. Eventually the glances tapered away and Michael was forcing smiles every time Jeremy came to his house with the girl by his side. They played with Maria, they watched tv, Apocalypse of the Damned was forgotten. Or, forgotten by Jeremy at least. Michael occasionally played the game when he was alone, puppy in his lap, memories of when they (being him and Jeremy) finished level nine together fresh in his head. The way they cheered, and kissed, and were both finally happy again brought the largest pit in his stomach Michael had experienced yet. But he didn't talk about it. He just popped a pill and let it work its magic.

That was, until a few weeks after The Play. Michael's phone buzzed and he retrieved it, finding Jeremy was calling him. Pausing the movie he was watching and pushing the popcorn to where Maria couldn't eat it, he answered and put the phone on speaker. He was almost instantly met with a crying mess named Jeremy.

"F-fuck, Michael, I'm so sorry... I had no idea..." Came his shaky words, muffled and hard to understand. Michael, who didn't want to be rude, let out a soft laugh.

"Hey, calm down there, bud. What's wrong, why are you saying sorry?"

"I-I didn't know we were..." The taller boy's voice faded into more sniffles and Michael tensed. Shit.

"Shit." He muttered, gently pushing his phone off where he had balanced it on his thigh. "Um, Jer, can you give me, like, twenty minutes to get over there. I don't... I don't want to talk about this over the phone." He said, voice loud. He heard a sniffle from Jeremy. "I'll see you there, okay bud?" He said, getting a soft reply out of Jeremy.

"Okay... bye..."

"Bye."

Call ended.

Michael quickly grabbed his Mountain Dew Red (it had become something close to a necessity for him), his phone off the floor, coaxed Maria into her cage, and grabbed his keys off the counter. He drove to Jeremy's house quickly and knocked on the door, coming face to face with Jeremy. Jeremy was still crying and Michael wrapped the taller of the two in his arms, stepping inside and pressing the door closed with his foot. Of course, he knew this wasn't a romantic thing, at least not anymore. They slowly walked up to Jeremy's room, the trip being something that Michael resented because of everything that had happened in that room. The smaller sat Jeremy down on his bed before taking a seat next to him.

"Okay. I'm here, we can talk." Michael spoke in soft, uncertain tones. He was, quite honestly, worried.

"I... I remember us..." Jeremy began, and with a prompting nod from Michael, he continued. "I think the Squip somehow, um, got i-into my memories and, uh, got rid of u-us... But I remember it now? And, fuck Michael, I'm so sorry... if I had known I never would have-"

"No. Don't say you never would have gone out with Christine. I know you, Jer. You still would have eventually, just not... you just wouldn't be going out with her right now. I love you Jeremy, I still do. I can't just, flick the switch off. But you're already moved on and I'm not worth you dumping her..." He fell silent at the look on Jeremy's face. "Look, Jer... Miah, if you still like that nickname, I know it's hard getting all these memories back that show a relationship that never really ended, but it's been replaced. It's... it's over..."

"Michael. I broke up with Christine a few days ago, didn't you notice?"

"You... you what?" Michael felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. Shit.

"I broke up with Christine. She's ace." Jeremy responded softly, looking at Michael with a bit of worry still in his eyes (he had managed to wipe away the tears).

"I didn't... I don't... what?" Michael was not taking this as well as Jeremy had hoped. Or at least, he didn't think he was until he saw a little smile crawl up onto Michael's face. Jeremy watched in confusion for a moment before the smaller pressed their lips together, taking him by surprise. He sat like that for a moment before kissing back.

And everything was finally okay. For real, this time.


	3. binders and support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy doesn't know how to come out just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love my son trans!jeremy  
> give him love  
> also hes gonna come out to the squip squad

Jeremy adjusted the new fabric around his bust, taking in a deep breath to make sure it wasn't too tight. Once satisfied, he pulled on the striped shirt he almost always wore, along with his blue jacket, before pulling on his jeans, socks, and shoes. He brushed his hair flat, looking at himself in the mirror for a long moment, before starting down the stairs and grabbing a quick breakfast. His dad had to leave for work a while ago, he had told Jeremy last night, so the lack of people there wasn't alarming. He walked outside before getting a text from Michael. 

[mikey: you need a ride to school? (sent at 7:14 AM)]  
[miah: thatd be great dude, im outside (sent at 7:14 AM)]

Jeremy powered his phone screen off, smiling softly as he took a seat on the front steps. The binder wasn't the nicest, it was pretty cheap and really scratchy, but it was better than nothing and the only thing he could get in town. He sighed, adjusting it under his shirt before watching as Michael pulled up. He waved, standing and pulling his bag over his shoulder, before climbing into Michael's PT Cruiser. Michael sent a smile over at him.

"New binder in stock yet?" He asked, watching as Jeremy adjusted it again and pulled on his seatbelt. "Yeah. It's kinda shitty. I can just order one when my dad gets home from work if he doesn't work late again." The other responded, feeling the car lurch out of the driveway. Michael hummed softly. "You could let me buy you one, you know. Besides, Miah, my parents wouldn't care anyway. They know I do drag." Jeremy perked up, but quickly sunk into the seat. "Yeah, but drag is different than being trans. And you're a drag QUEEN, not a drag king like Christine. You don't have any need for a binder." He replied, voice harsh. The other sent him a look, but didn't reply. The rest of the ride was in silence, that was until Michael parked the car in his normal spot. 

"Mikey? How am I ever gonna tell the other's that I'm trans?" He asked, causing Michael to perk up. The smaller looked over at Jeremy, letting out a breath. "You just have to tell them. I'll be right there, you know that. And they'll accept you." Michael's words were soft, warm. Almost like honey that had been put in the microwave. Jeremy felt a shiver run through his spine as he slipped out of the seat. "Thank you." He said softly, receiving a nod.

~

Jeremy let out a breath as he took his usual seat at lunch. Michael was already there, sipping off a Slushie. It looked like a suicide, a murky brown color that Jeremy didn't understand to be appetizing. The others trickled in eventually and Jeremy felt his arm be nudged. He jumped slightly, before letting out a breath. "Hey guys, I have to tell you something important." He said softly, causing everyone to look up. Christine shut her book; Rich and Jake stopped their push war; Brooke, Chloe and Jenna looked up from their phones. With all eyes on Jeremy, he began to speak.

"Guys. I'm trans." He said finally, letting out a breath. Rich and Jake looked at each other like they had already known this, before continuing their shove war. Christine gave a Motherly Smile before looking back to her book. The three girls all shrugged before looking back to their phones. Michael gave Jeremy a Look. "Told you." He said softly, not elaborating before going back to his Slushie. Jeremy watched everyone with little looks of awe on his face. "W-what kind of reaction is that?!" He said loudly, causing Christine to look up again.

"Jeremy, we already all knew. You're always adjusting your binder and you asked me where I get mine." Christine said, shrugging. Rich intervened. "When our Squips got linked I could hear yours calling you Josie or whatever it was. I could tell you were trans from there." The others all nodded. "I heard rumor and you know how I am." Jenna said with a small laugh. Chloe didn't explain how she knew, being at the party in Jake's room was threatening enough, with her hands up his shirt, feeling his binder. Brooke shrugged. "You forgot your binder on the play night. I saw you wrapping in the bathroom. You're really not supposed to do that, by the way." She said, raising her eyebrows. Michael smiled at Jeremy.

"I told you they wouldn't care." And with that, the conversation was over and Jeremy was out.


	4. spotify playlists and blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squip is apparently a second consciousness that has needs. way to go  
> (there is boyf riends in this dont u worry also this is squip redemption au)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the idea isnt mine, just so you guys know! im kinda at a block and having a lot of anxiety so i asked if i could use my friend @pinktoria 's idea for a squip redemption au  
> if its really shitty it's probably because my hands are pretty shaky and, like previously mentioned, ive been having a lot of anxiety recently  
> also this probably takes place around the end of the school year, like in may or smth for an estimate of how long its been since The Play

Drip. Drip. Drip. Jeremy closed his eyes as the blood dripped off his chin and landed in the little puddle on the floor. He felt the Squip materialize in front of him, and he sighed. The fake ass Keanu Reeves sighed, sitting down in front of Jeremy, who was still breathing heavy and occasionally coughing up the crimson drops that rolled down his chin and landed with the other drops that were probably staining the carpet. The Squip, who only had aspects of Keanu's appearance and voice anymore, looked from the blood puddle to Jeremy who was pale and having a hard time evening his breathing.

[Jeremy, I need you to take in a deep breath for me.] Came the electronic voice, still tinted with the sultry tones that were once so thick in his tone. Jeremy, out of nothing but instinct, did as told, drawing in a long, deep breath. The Squip smiled, Jeremy couldn't tell if it was genuine or not. [Good. Can you hold it, or is that too much to ask?] He asked, and Jeremy was surprised by the actual genuine sounding worry in his voice. Thanks Japan. Jeremy, finding his brain unable to do much more than nod and freak out, nodded and held his breath until the Squip spoke once more. [Now, let it out. Then repeat all that. I'll text Michael to come over for you, since you're not capable of doing it right now.] Jeremy just nodded, repeating the process and coughing up more blood. The Squip winced as he pulled Jeremy's phone off the nightstand. It was around one in the morning, and on a school night too. A shame. Though, Michael wouldn't be asleep yet. The fake ass Keanu Reeves opened up Jeremy's messenger (he knew his password by heart, they shared a brain) and shot a text at Michael.

[jeremy: dued cna you come over im havign an atrack]

[mikey: WHAT THE FUCK JEREMY YES IM ON MY WAY]

[jeremy: dotn tetx and dirve]

He set the phone back down on the counter, proud of his typos, and sat down next to Jeremy who was still using the breathing trick, tapping out the counts on his leg or thinking them in his head. The Squip couldn't be sure. Still, he placed a glitching hand on Jeremy's shoulder and rubbed small circles into it until he heard the familiar sound of Michael's engine. He pulled Jeremy's phone back off the nightstand and set it next to him before stopping the rubbing.

[Michael is here, okay? Keep up your breathing until he gets in here. He'll know how to treat you better than I will. I'm going to leave for a while, and be back when you're better.] The Squip told Jeremy, who just nodded weakly. It wasn't long before Michael was running up the stairs (he knew where the spare key was, usually it was in his back pocket on his key ring) and pushing open the door. The taller of the two looked up at Michael from where he was sitting on the ground, the puddle of blood still close as he hadn't moved away yet. 

"Oh shit, Miah." Michael said quickly, getting down next to Jeremy and gently pulling him away from the puddle. Jeremy had mostly stopped with the whole "coughing up blood" thing, so Michael took him into his arms, sat him down on the bed, and pressed their foreheads together. His headphones, draped lazily around his neck, were transferred to Jeremy's ears. It was a few moments as Michael pulled up their shared Spotify account and Jeremy's playlist entitled "attack (jeremy)" before soft music came pouring through the disks over his ears. Jeremy closed his eyes, listening halfheartedly as Michael rubbed his back and pressed kisses to his hair. Maybe they'd skip out on school tomorrow, Michael could tell the chat so they didn't get worried. It wasn't long before Jeremy had fallen asleep in Michael's arms, and he decided that they would, in fact, be skipping school tomorrow. Laying the both of them down, he pulled Jeremy close and pulled the sheets over them, unaware of the glitchy, holographic form of the Squip in the corner, watching them carefully.

~

Jeremy groaned as he opened his eyes. Michael's headphones were still on his head, he was faintly aware of Michael handing them over last night, but the body warmth of the other was gone. He pushed himself up in the bed, glancing over to where the puddle had been. He was surprised to see that it was covered by the Squip who was... cleaning it? Jeremy rubbed his eyes, blinked, but the Squip was not disappearing. Michael was, in fact, gone from the room but his phone was still on the bed (still playing, mind you, Michael left the music on just in case), and Michael's hoodie was next to him on the bed. Jeremy, knowing he was allowed to wear it, pulled the fabric on over his shirt from the day prior and took Michael's phone into his hands. 12:30 flashed on the screen, as did a few unread messages from Operation LGBT+, the group chat between the Squip Squad (how original, Rich) and Michael, who was only really there because he was Jeremy's best friend and everyone else's savior. He unlocked the phone, and opened up the chat.

[playertwo: skipping school, jeremy had a pretty bad panic attack last night]

[acecase: Oh jeez, is he okay?]

[brooe: what christine said]

[chrooke: cHLOE BE CONSIDERATE]

[playertwo: yeah, he's alright. hes still asleep right now, i dont wanna wake him up]

[changeyourprofilepicsbackplease: yeah, if its connected to the squip you dont wanna wake him up. if there was blood at all it probably was, i had a few of them myself]

[poolmaster: rich getting personal]

[poolmaster: but yeah, let him sleep]

[playertwo: i am. gotta go, the phone screens bright and jer has his curtain closed]

[queern: just turn down your brightness you idiot]

[acecase: Jenna that's not nice ):<]

[queern: sorry mom]  
[sent at: 8:14]

There weren't anymore messages after that, but Jeremy still smiled softly at the chat, closing out of it and pausing Spotify. He pushed Michael's phone into his pocket, his headphones around his neck, and stood up.

[You really shouldn't be standing up yet, Jeremy.] Warned Keanu, still hunched over and cleaning.

"Shut up, you aren't my mom." Jeremy muttered, pulling Michael's hoodie closer and starting toward the door.

[I know I'm not your other half of genetic makeup. I wouldn't be here if I was.]

"That's cold."

[I know.]

Jeremy rolled his eyes, stepping out of the room and starting down the stairs, glancing around for Michael. It wasn't long before he could fell the Squip behind him, a considerably nice distance but still there. He must have cleaned up the mess. It wasn't long before he reached the living room. Michael was there, tapping a beat out on his leg to make up for the lack of Jeremy and the lack of headphones and the lack of his phone. Jeremy slowly wandered over onto the couch, taking a seat next to Michael who perked up and wrapped an arm around Jeremy.

"How'd you sleep, baby?" He asked softly, and Jeremy flushed at the use of the pet name.

"Good. When'd you get up?"

"Around eight. You hungry? I already called into school for both of us."

"Kinda. Thank you for coming over at one in the morning."

"Thank you for being okay."


End file.
